Circles

Lately, life has felt like it’s stuck in rotation. In the candle’s light I will see truth and in truth I see the beauty in this world.

Sometimes; The Camera Doesn’t Lie.

I am a true believer that as a photographer we manipulate the truth into what we as the photographer/artist sees. For example; that photo I shot a few weeks back with my hair messed up and my eyes looking intense. I was actually half smiling, but I cropped it out in Photoshop and then turned it to black and white for a more moody effect. However; there are rare cases to which it doesn’t matter how we zoom our lens or what angle we shot at, you can’t take pain away. I see lots of faces and lots of people, we are all human and sometimes we can’t fake it. Telling someone to smile or pose in a fun way doesn’t always make it fun. The camera does capture you and it’s a truth that you can see a person’s soul in their eyes. I recently shot a person, who was lovely and absolutely adorable, but it didn’t matter what angle I was at or how I zoomed or even what I said, I couldn’t mask the pain this person had and after a while of looking it was hard not to feel that emotion after studying them for so long. It’s what we do as photographers, we read people and we become very in tune with our subjects; we see more that you think. In fact in my daily life it’s hard to turn that switch off, even when I don’t have a camera in front of me.

Yes; we manipulate, but sometimes there are things beyond our camera’s buttons/knobs and the “magic” of Photoshop.

(the photo below I took a few years ago)

Would You Hold My Fire?

Everyone knows that moment where you fall in love; especially when it’s a new love. Everything around them seems to glow and burn through your insides like a California wildfire. The smoke fills your lungs and your engulfed by it’s power. However we have to remember; it’s smoke. It’s not good for you, that’s why we started refurring to cigarettes as cancer sticks or death sticks (depending where you grew up and what crowd you ran with). By no means do I hate on the notion of a whimsical beginning; I have had the honor to experience that a few times in my life and it is fun. However; what I like and love is messy. The “dirty  little secrets” and having someone who knows everything about you and still smiles when you walk through the door. Having arguments, but then being able to talk later and reconcile. On a whole I am an extremely forgiving person; guess that’s a fault for believing everyone deserves a second chance. Then again I don’t even see that as a fault, but as someone who tries to believe there is some ounce of good in everyone; even in my enemies (do I even have enemies?).

So here I am; a book from the non-fiction section. No forward before the story, but the nitty gritty truth in my pages. I’m Open and I ask now; would someone out there hold my fire? Breathe in my smoke and wait till the end with the ashes…..cause thats when new life begins after a wildfire. That’s when we see true beauty and when we discover real love.

I’m a Beautiful Mess

Everyone comes with a fault, a past and a quirk. I come with a scar on my back and then some. I have bad hair days and it’s okay. At the end of even my worst days; I can still smile. My imperfections are my biggest asset and so I embrace.

 I’m a beautiful mess, so deal with it.

Set it Free

I wrote a song, kind of a jack of all trades… here’s the lyrics. I wrote on something thats been on my mind these past few days…

(also this does not pertain to anyone in particular with the circumstances I wanted that on the record)

will try to upload a video or audio later but for now….my first song in quite a while “Set it Free”

you drive me crazy

breaking my heart with tall tales

telling me there was no room to love

even me, even me

that you gotta work on yourself

satisfy curiosity

but don’t you remember that killed the cat

(curiosity killed the cat)

they say if you love something, set it free

set it free and then you’ll see

they will come back to you

do you believe it’s true,

but in time we’ll see…….

You walk onward

acting like it don’t bother you

but I see how quickly you replaced

that cold shoulder

didn’t take time to even grieve

or smell the roses

but in the end your only hurting that new flame 

(that poor dame)

they say if you love something, set it free

set it free and then you’ll see

they will come back to you

do you believe it’s true

but in time we’ll see

if you love something set it free

set it free

time will only tell

time will only tell

or move on

move on

and set it free

A Game called Earth

Once upon a time; I was a camp counselor.

Along with so many other people I think fondly on the time spent and how little that time actually was. Life keeps moving forward in so many ways but every time I think back to camp, time stands still and I can’t help it; I think I’m 18 all over again. I wont embellish on my campers or stories pertaining them, because that would go against my confidentiality agreement. However, I learned a lot from those girls in my cabins and every now and then I think of them.

I have extremely vivid memory’s, it’s why I always remember where I parked my car. I could be walking and texting and still end up at my car and not flinch once.

Anyways my point, we as camp counselors used to play this ‘game” with our campers. It was called “Earth” basically each camper had their own 12 in by 12 in piece of ground and we asked them to study it, where each leaf was, or if a twig was under that leaf with the hole in it. All in all to know where everything was and then to start digging deeper; get to the soil, see what colors are in their piece of earth and truly get your hands into the 12 in by 12 in piece of land. Then after they thought they knew everything there was to know about it, I/we asked them to put everything back the way that it was before they touched it. We would watch as campers tried to delicately put everything back the way that it was. Some camper’s would say that they did it, that every leaf was where it was before….however this is impossible. Once you touch something it never will be the way it was before. When you walk in the woods you step on twigs and leaves crush; you always leave an imprint. It’s like this with all things, people and places.

Everyday we play this game, walking in and out of people’s lives and going into places. It’s not always noticable; like when you actually play the game and see it, but we play it all the time.

Learning something new everyday,

Katy Kettles

“Store Windows”

Oldies but Goodies

“Kathy,” I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh 
“Michigan seems like a dream to me now” 
It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw 
I’ve gone to look for America 

-”America” by Simon and Garfunkel

I was listening to this today and can never help but feel sentimental. Simon and Garfunkel was the only band my father and I could agree to while riding in the car together. See, his idea of good music was and still is The Carpenter’s; so trust me….for a ten-year old that was into spice girls, Simon and Garfunkel sounded pretty cool next to The Carpenter’s. I still remember rides to the theater in the suburban or my mother’s old green Cadillac while I sat shotgun and we listened to the cassette. ( yeah….cassette, you read that right) My mother’s name is Kathy and she is from Saginaw and I was born and bred in the great lakes state. “America’s” significance to me is astounding and I can’t help but let my mind drift off the paved paths as I listen to it again, because every time my imagination takes me back to a time where all I had were dreams. Dreams of chasing the sunset all the way to California.

Now just because I live in L.A. doesn’t mean I have stopped looking for America.

Much Love,

Katy Kettles